Friday, April 5, 2013

Non-self interviews for a non-job

The truth of the fluidity of existence -- that nothing is permanent, solid, and independent-- shows up in the strangest ways sometimes.

Last week I had a job interview -- or interviews  (I met separately with two people). It was the second interview, so my basic credentials had put me in the final four. One of the interviewers expressed concern that I was too thoughtful and not quick enough; the other wondered whether I was thoughtful enough and said perhaps I was too speedy.

I, of course, was the same person in both interviews. But the two interviewers saw opposite things.

The job, presumably, was the same job, though each person had a different conception of it. Both described the same functions for the position but saw them in a different context.

There was no solid "Me" there. I mean, I was there, in my creative but serious interview clothing, but each person saw a different Me. And I'm sure the interviewers I saw were not the same ones that the Interviewers experienced.

Even the job was not a singular Job but was shaped by the view of the speakers.

I haven't heard from the company, but I assume that I didn't get the job -- it's been more than a week. There's an "ouch" of rejection, or non-selection; there's also an Ah of relaxation. I am fortunate to have a job that I like, and I don't want to take one I won't like just to make more money. I want it to be a job where I can be of benefit, not suffer more and create suffering.

Everything is ephemeral -- certainly jobs are in the current economy. Maybe, especially, ones at newspapers, like mine. So I will continue to be open to possibilities.

In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's, only one, it is said. The ground of being is a fertile place.

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