the month of me

I've come up with a practice plan that's different from what we discussed, but I think it works for me right now. I'm going to make October a month of maitri for me. After our talk, I feel like I need to get back in touch with my own buddhanature/basic goodness on a heart level. so, I'm going to devote part of my daily meditation, maybe 10 minutes, to maitri or tonglen just for me. I think if I really get that, it will naturally extend out to those around me.

and for my off-the-cushion practice, I'm going to practice mindful acquisition of clothing. before I buy another black skirt or get sucked into the sale rack at anthropologie, I'm going to actually think about what need the item of clothing in question meets. do I already own something like it? if so, why do I need another? what do I think this item of clothing will do for me -- make me happy? make me feel pretty? hide my deficiencies from the world? and if that's what I want it to do, will it really work? or is there a better, deeper way of getting to that need? I'm going to try to enlist one of my wiser girlfriends to help me in this.

maybe you see the connection between the on-the-cushion off-the-cushion practices. I do. I buy clothes to make myself feel good, but maybe I can work on just feeling good about myself instead.