breaking open

Today I had the realization that when your heart breaks open, it opens to immeasurable joy as well as immeasurable pain. And that you can experience both while you're driving to the gym, and neither one makes you drive off the road.

Then, as I was walking on the treadmill before yoga, I read this (in an article by Pema Chodren in Shambhala Sun): "Somehow when my heart broke, the qualities of natural warmth, qualities like kindness and empathy and appreciation, just spontaneously emerged."

And my heart and brain both said a big huge "yes!" to this because that was exactly what I had experienced.

When I meditate, I tell myself, I love you, I forgive, I'm sorry. 54 times (twice around the wrist mala). and I see that someday I might be able to mean it.